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December 05, 2004

I was at a Dave & Buster's with a good friend of mine, we were drinking and playing video games, as you do at Dave & Buster's.  We sat down at a tank battle game, and I noticed  that someone had left their wallet next to my seat.  I picked up the wallet and proceeded to look through it, take the money that was inside it, and then put it back where I found it.  I don't remember thinking that it was a bad thing to do at the time, I just remember being relatively broke and happy to have found some money.  My friend, I remember, seemed a bit off-put by what I'd done, but he didn't say anything in condemnation or judgment.  It wasn't his way then, and it isn't now.

I've been thinking about that incident quite a bit lately, trying to understand exactly who I was back then.  It was wrong, what I did, it is now unavoidably wrong.  I don't remember thinking that it was wrong back then, only that it was easy.

We can't take back these things we've done, all we can do is come to some sort of terms with them.  Is it enough to realize the wrongs I've committed in the past, or must I stretch myself beyond simple goodness in order to regain my balance?  Should I give away twenty-seven dollars as a sort of penance?  Does a confession on here make any difference?  Does God read this website?

I'm a better person now, and I'm not sure if I attribute this to spirituality or the clarity that comes with getting older.  Being good, being very good, is a worthwhile pain in the ass.  It's easy not to steal money from found wallets, it's very hard to turn the right cheek when someone has repeatedly smacked the left.

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You are forgiven my son. Sin no more.

http://webpages.charter.net/tradur/truth.html

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