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February 27, 2005

Our Godless Constitution

February 15, 2005

The mystery does not get any clearer by repeating the question,
nor is it bought with going to amazing places.

Until you've kept your eyes
and your wanting still for fifty years,
you don't begin to cross over from confusion.

-Rumi

February 13, 2005

I'm not sure what to write in here anymore. 

I've spent a year wondering about God, I've read the Bible from cover to cover, I've had discussions & arguments with those both spiritual and non...  and here I am:  I believe that there is a God--a higher power that we don't understand--but I really don't know what the nature of that God is, what this God demands of us (if it demands anything of us), if this God actually interferes in our lives or just watches us flail about.

These are all things I have written here before, in one form or another, but perhaps worth repeating.

I was an agnostic bordering on atheism a year and a half ago--I didn't "hate God" (as someone was known to insist at the time), I just didn't consider God.  Now that I consider God, I don't know what to do with him/her/it.

Perhaps I should read the Koran now, and then...what?  The Mormon Bible?  So many religious texts, so little time.  This brings me back to my struggle accepting Christianity: to follow the Christian path is to render all other paths wrong, and I really don't think that God would want it that way.  So much of the spiritual path we choose (Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, etc.) seems based on where we were born, how we were raised, that for God to essentially punish those who choose wrong seems essentially unfair.  I think God, if anything, is fair. 

Does that make sense to anyone?

February 04, 2005

Dear Jef, bad news I am afraid. The sales team have said no to the cross image on the cover. They say in their markets it will be read as Klu Klux Klan and it will have a negative effect on sales. I have to find a new image. This has occurred after the editor and team gave it the thumbs up but if Sales feel strongly about a cover we have to listen to what they say.

Whilst I cannot now pay a reproduction fee we should pay something for your time and trouble. I will therefore get our Accounts department to pay £50 into your account.

My sincere apologies.

I really needed this money, but I realize that these things happen.  If anything, I'm trying to understand why this happened.  If everything happens for a reason, then why this?  If there is a God, and if he does more than just watch us flail, why would he do this?

Did I do something wrong? 

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